Sunday, May 18, 2008

What they teach you in MBA

Supervisor focused impression management
  1. Do personal favors for your supervisor (for example, getting him or her a cup of coffee or coke , etc)
  2. Offer to do something for your supervisor which you were not required to do; that is, you did it as a personal favor for him or her.
  3. Compliment your immediate supervisor on his or her dress or appearance.
  4. Praise your immediate supervisor on his or her accomplishments. (What if he doesn’t have any? genuine doubt…)
  5. Take an interest in your supervisor’s personal life (No dirty thoughts)

Ahem Ahem, no wonder B-schools make successful managers !!! Anybody out there to refute this? Come on, grow up.

Overhead transmission of Macro Economic analysis

Mr. Rocky (Prof. Rakesh singh ko pyar se janta aise bolte hei yaar.. dil pe nai leneka) has aptly justified being a professor of a B-school.

His winning formula – Scare everyone to glory

His piece of advice – Bullshit, but with CONFIDENCE.

And then give them some weird assignment on Gross domestic product trend analysis and tracing inflexion point (I still don’t know what it means) and blah blah blah. – Submission deadline 00:00 hrs in the midnight (Lol)

His Project work for us – ‘How would Economic Times look in 2020’? (Beat that).While 99.99% of us do not how it looks like now, God save us and God save HIM !!

Amidst all this there’s a bunch of seniors who take the pain of coming in the wee hours and give us a presentation on how the Place Com works. And then comes the best part – an interview (grueling one) for the same. A set of 10 essays and then an interview to do some voluntary work. Jeezus !!!

And then the Karma Yoga project – Help some community in need – Comes with a mandatory tag of 3-4 hours - more about this laterz .

And if you thought this was all, I am glad that you are grossly mistaken. It teaches you how to -

have a shower in 2 minutes, eat your dinner in 3 minutes, manage 7-8 things at once and yet not to mess em up (actually u dare not), Manage your time – your quick foody bites while traveling, complete your dressing while running to the college (Clarification : dressing like folding up the sleeves of your shirt, wear your shoes completely etc), most importantly a ‘ I DON’T CARE’ attitude, otherwise, what would you tell all those insane NON MBA crowd staring at us..

And do I have to say that – ‘Its hell lota fun’ !!!

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